


Bed of Roses

by xXxCeltics_Cowboys_HuntersxXx



Series: Bed Of Roses [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:32:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4345166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxCeltics_Cowboys_HuntersxXx/pseuds/xXxCeltics_Cowboys_HuntersxXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6 months together, that was all they had, now one can't remember, and the other can't forget. </p>
<p>How does anyone fall in love like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bed of Roses

**Author's Note:**

> Lets assume that there was a time when Hydra didn't know that Bucky's memories would have to be erased regularly, when they let him out for a little longer, let him take longer missions. or maybe remembering little details was a punishment, because he knew they'd take them away.
> 
> P.S. this is the first story I've written in like 2 years so if it's horrid I am so very sorry.

* * *

_Twelve years, that’s how long it’d been since they seen each other, since the night Clint promised to help him._

_Jay had just looked at him sadly and whispered softly in a pained tone “You can’t"_

 

* * *

 

 

That was after they’d spent 6 months together, and Clint had never fallen in love so quickly and completely in his life, not even when he met Natasha who everyone assumed he was in love with but in reality was his closest friend.

She didn't even know about James.

 

She knew there had been someone in his life before they'd met, someone he'd sworn he'd never forget, never get over, but that was all she knew.

 

"Love is for children" she had intoned.

 

But Clint still believed that it was love, despite everything.

 

Only how do you fall for someone you barely know?

 

How is it possible to fall for someone who barely even knows their own name?

 

“JAMES!” he screams jerking up in bed breathing heavily and automatically grabbing his nearest weapon, the crossbow that sat on his nightstand every night, already loaded.

 

He got his breathing under control puts down the unneeded weapon dragging a hand through his hair and then growled in frustration at yet another dream or rather nightmare about the one person he’d never been able to forget, even though he knew it was likely that by now that same man had no memories of him.

 

He knew that by the way James had tried to kill him the last time he caught even a glance of him.

 

Clint Barton had to be the one person in the history of EVER to fall in love with the freakin Winter Soldier, not that the relationship started or even ended with Clint knowing that that was who and what James was.

 

Sure the fact that he hadn't known anything other then his own first name and the mission report when they met had been a bit alarming, but Clint knew what it was like to need to work so badly you push your way through everything else, and lie however you can and to whoever you needed to just to keep going, just to keeping yourself from going crazy, and if he was assigned to work with a newbie like Clint had still been back then than he had to be alright enough to get the job done.

 

They all had bad nights, nights where they weren't sure whether or not they had done the right thing on the job, so that night where James had clung to him and told him as much hadn't set off any serious alarms.

 

But how was he supposed to know that the handsome snarky agent who had started affectionately calling him Peaches and just about cried when Clint brought him homemade muffins was The Winter Soldier, the idea that James and The Soldier were anything but two completely separate beings wasn't in the least bit compatible in his mind

 

It was three years after James had vanished that Clint saw him again and there was no mistaking those eyes and especially not the metal prosthetic arm that had circled around his throat the night he’d tried to protect the life of some up and coming politician and had ended up losing everything, waking up in a hospital bed weeks later with Fury himself sitting there to explain just who it was Clint had gone up against.

 

He'd had crushed larynx, 3 broken ribs, a punctured lung, a bad concussion and enough bruises and lacerations to make it look like he'd tried to tango with a gorilla, the fact that he'd survived the encounter provoked many stares from the Shield agents who knew, and it was one of the few facts that the entire agency seemed to just know.

 

Which he thought was one of the reasons he had trouble moving on from James, because the James he knew loved him, he was sure of that in spite of how short their time together had been. But James was The Winter Soldier and The Soldier didn't let people get in his way, couldn't be stopped, the people who tried ended up dead, and yet Clint had tried, however unknowingly at the time. And he was still alive, if The Soldier had wanted him dead he would be, could've been, so very easily that night, and so Clint was left with this war, in his mind and heart. His common sense telling him that The Soldier was dangerous, deadly and his heart saying that a part of him maybe deep down remembered Clint, and still loved him.

 

Which he personally thought helped explain the nightly nightmarish ending to his sleep quite adequately.

 

Flopping back down he dragged a hand down one side of his face “Awww fuck” he groaned, still trying to calm down.

 

After the Battle of New York Clint had needed a long vacation from the world, between the ever persistent Dreams/Nightmares about James and the more recently acquired ones of the crazed god that had taken possession of his mind and had used him so thoroughly that he sometimes still found himself asking for the god’s permission to brush his teeth.

 

(In which such moments he would glare at his surroundings and rather defiantly grab his tooth brush and happily spend the next ten minutes “Being thorough” as he’d sniped at Nat when she’d commented on it.)

 

So here he was on his farm in the middle of nowhere trying to piece his sanity back together bit by bit.

 

Having realized there was no way he’d get back to sleep anytime soon with the kind of thoughts that were stampeding through his mind Clint pulled himself out of bed and down the hall to his personal gym, few dozen pull ups and crunches and a little Tai Chi ought to help focus his mind, then he had a couple ornery cows to milk and chickens to feed.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing but this grew from the song fic I had planned into something possibly crazy. I have not yet seen Age of Ultron, this is sort of set after CA:TWS 
> 
>  I just hope that I haven't made Hawkeye and Bucky into an even more fucked up version of Bella and Edward in New Moon.
> 
> If your reading this please just bare with me here ya'll.


End file.
